ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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