Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
