You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
