Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
