honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
