I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
...so i touched it.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
