I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize