he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
