i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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