I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
