your room smells of hookers.
And success
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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