I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
