A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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