Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
