I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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