okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
