Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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