Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
