I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Houston, we have a blender
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
