My cat gives me a boner
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
