...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
