respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
