I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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