...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
