Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
