There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize