I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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