I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
