He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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