you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
