I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
