you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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