you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
