I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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