Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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