This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
