Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
