Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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