May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
