I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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