There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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