Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
