my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
babies were throwing up all over the place
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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