names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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