Are we in a gay sports bar?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
