chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
