Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
