They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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