oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
