ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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