Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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