Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
