People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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