New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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