I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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