Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
vagina is talking i cant
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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