i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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