Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
