it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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