I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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