She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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