Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
