Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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