remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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