perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
A+ Viking dick
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
