he was CRYING into my vagina
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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