Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
