also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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