I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize