Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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