I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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